they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize