He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
