I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
