Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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