I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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