I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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