Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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