yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
