i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
