if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
