I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
