Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
