I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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