I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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