Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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