Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
home. puking in laundry basket.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
