I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
