i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize