It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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