I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I think a kid would responsible me up
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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