i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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