Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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