plz talk dirty to me
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
