I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
