new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
