Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
