Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
