Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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