I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He passed out mid-signature
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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