i wish my penis had a tongue
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
