Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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