Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Green mimosas i think yes
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
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