Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
