NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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