I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
