just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize