This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
