Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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