what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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