so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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