woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
