Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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