am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
