carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
