the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
The struggles of a small town man whore
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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