Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize