im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
