you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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