I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize