i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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