Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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