I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
