Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
