If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
