Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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