That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize