Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
