No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
