you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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