i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
